


Man of Action

by KillerQueen80



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueen80/pseuds/KillerQueen80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this prompt: Either Kurt or Blaine stars in a movie or TV show where an action figure is made of their character. The other buys it IMMEDIATELY. (To play with? To display proudly? To brag about how cute it is to all the other shoppers? To have it star in homemade stop motion films? That part is up to you!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man of Action

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flickerthenflare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerthenflare/gifts).



No one expected it to be this popular. The premise was ridiculous even to the people who lived it. But Artie was adamant that a superhero movie about a superhero who helps save a glee club was going to resonate with audiences. And it did. It was a blockbuster that put Artie on the map as a writer/director, showcased Tina and Ryder as serious actors and made Blaine a bonafide action star, much to their surprise. 

Of course there were pros and cons to the whole thing. Blaine had to stick to an intense diet and exercise regimen to get in shape for the film, but at 28 years old, Blaine was in the best shape of his life and Kurt was definitely enjoying the perks that came with it. 

The best part though? The merch. So much of Blaine's face everywhere he looked. Kurt loved everything about Blaine, but he wasn't gonna pretend his face wasn't part of it. His still handsome face, chiseled due to his new physique, showing small signs of age, though still so boyish. The big hazel eyes that betrayed every thought that crossed Blaine's mind. Those eyes were part of why Blaine worked so well on the big screen, he could do so much with his eyes. The first time Kurt saw him on a movie theater screen, he was taken aback by his eyes. And now those eyes were seen by millions in IMAX 3D. 

They were probably going to need a new room just for merch. It’s okay, Kurt’s been wanting to put an addition on the house.

Blaine was a bonafide movie star and Kurt loved it. Blaine, on the other hand, maybe not so much.

“I am tired of seeing my own face. I was driving down Sunset to a meeting and there was a billboard on every corner, it’s weird and embarrassing.”

“Honey, this is what we’ve always wanted.. Aren’t you the one who had a superhero group in high school, the one where this character was born?”

Blaine sighs, “This is strange. Who knew this movie would be so popular?”

“Apparently Artie, and me. I thought so. Now, when does the toy hit stores?”

“Oh God Kurt, why? I’ll probably just put it in a box in storage, maybe display one in the office. I don’t know if I want the kids playing with a toy version of me. I’ll give one to Sam and Mercedes for little Hudson

“I know we’ll get some, but excuse me if I want the pleasure of going to the store and buying an action figure of my husband. It was like when you bought my first cast album, you already had a copy, you had one before it had a release date, but you still went and bought one. It’s symbolic.”

“That’s true. It will be out in time for Christmas.”   
Blaine’s vague answer wasn’t good enough, so Kurt let it go. He knew not to push, and he knows his husband. As much as he loves attention, Blaine is feeling self conscious and embarrassed.Kurt would definitely take care of that before he leaves on the overseas press junket, he may even put in a call to their longtime therapist to make sure Blaine’s body image issues don’t start rearing their ugly head again. They’ve been married for eight years, Kurt knows Blaine, and while he’s worked hard on the issues that plagued him before they got married, it was always good to get a little mental health checkup when big changes happened in their life. They had weekly sessions before each of the kids and when Kurt made the decision to be the one to stay home with the kids while Blaine toured for his album and then when he worked on the movie. 

Once Kurt knew Blaine was okay, and he was packed and shipped off to meet Artie, Ryder and Tina in London to promote the movie, Kurt put in a call to the one person he knew he could get the answer he was looking for.

“Yes Kurt Blaine has arrived safely to London, he is two doors down from Arthur and Tina, and I have submitted the chosen questions so he will not be caught off guard.”

“Hello to you too, Kitty. What are you up to?”

“Oh you know, trying to convince Marley to be more adorable and maybe do another interview where she plays with puppies. You know, the usual. But I know you didn’t call me to gossip, and if this was about your next launch of creepy old lady broaches, you’d call Santana. So what can I do for you?” 

“I miss you when you go to LA, you know that, Kitty?”

“Good, that means when I’m back in New York, you’ll send the kids to Pam and have the good wine and cheese waiting for me.”

“Of course. Anyway, the reason I called because Blaine will not be straight with me about the doll.” 

“The action figure you mean? Because it doesn’t come with a bowtie, a medium drip and a little jar hair gel. It comes with a grappling hook and a trophy.”

“Whatever, action figure, although a little Blaine doll with real hair that comes wearing a bowtie and holding a microphone would be adorable.”

“Only to you. What about the toy, Kurt?”

“When can I buy one?”

“Okay, no. I know it was cute before for you guys to go down to Target and buy each other’s albums and it was an adorable photo op. But this is ridiculous. I will get you one. I have several taking up space in my office.” 

“Good, when can I have it? Maybe an extra one to go on display in the kids’ playroom?”

“Blaine is going to kill you, but anyway, how about this? Mercedes is headed to New York to record a song with Beyonce and Jay Z’s new artist. I’ll send a couple with her.”

“Thank you, Kitty! You’re the best!”

“I know, that’s why you pay me so much.” 

Three days later at lunch time, as Kurt puts Spencer into his high chair and cuts the crusts off Harper’s almond butter sandwich there is a knock at the door.

“Dada door!” Spencer says, before shoving an apple wedge in his mouth.

“I hear it baby,” he says heading towards the door, wiping his hands on a dish towel. He opens the door to Mercedes.

“Surprise!”

“Mercedes! I thought you weren’t coming until Monday!” Kurt says pulling her into a hug.

“I wasn’t going to, but Sam is at some education conference with Will and Emma, my parents have the baby for the week and I got bored, let me in, where are my god babies?” 

Kurt leads Mercedes into the kitchen where Harper gets up and throws herself into her arms.

“Auntie Cedes!” 

“Hey baby girl!” Mercedes picks the four year old up, kisses Spencer on the side of the head and sits at the table while Harper continues to eat.”

“So, where is that gorgeous husband of yours?” 

“He is in Europe doing press for his movie, it’s just me and the kiddos for the next three weeks.”

“Just you and the kiddos?”

“Yep. Well, Blaine’s mom is a few minutes away if I need her, but being the boss means I get to take the kids to work with me if I need to,” Kurt says, handing Spencer his sippy cup.

“Tank you, Dada” 

“Jeez Kurt, he looks just like you.” 

“I know, poor kid, he’s gonna have to wear SPF 2 billion for all of his life. Anyway, Kitty said she was sending you with a present for me.”

“I want presents,” Harper says with a mouthful of her sandwich.

“Not if you talk with your mouth full.” 

“Oh that’s why you welcomed me so happily,” Mercedes laughed, reaching in her bag.

“Yes, definitely. Not because you’re my oldest friend. Now gimme.”

Mercedes hands Kurt the action figures, it comes in a blue box, art from the film covering the sides of it, the figure itself is about the same size as a Barbie doll, wearing the Nightbird outfit with a cotton cape. His arms and legs jointed, his right hand closed in an open fist so he can hold the trophy or grappling hook.. His eyes are gold, much like Blaine’s in real life and his hard plastic hair is a perfect replica of the gelled style Blaine was fond of as a teenager.

Kurt opens the box carefully, “So how is motherhood treating you?”

“Well, nursing has gotten easier, which is nice. I can tell he’s already got Sam’s personality, which is going to be interesting as he gets older. I miss him like crazy, which is why I came straight here. Because quality time with these kiddos may help me stop missing my baby.” 

“Aw, Mercedes, being a working parent is no fun, but we’re lucky, we make our own schedules.”

“Exactly, and I couldn’t turn this opportunity down. Now let me see that mini version of Blaine.” 

“You’re already holding her,” Kurt says with a smile. 

“The other mini Blaine,” Mercedes says, pressing a kiss into Harper’s curls. Kurt hands over the action figure.

“Wow, this looks just like him. This is insane. I’ve gotten used to seeing our friend’s pictures everywhere, though I could have done without those pictures from when Rachel and Jesse got caught in that hotel with their curtains open, but wow. Blaine is the first one to get a toy made of him. This is insane.” 

“I know, I can’t believe it. This is crazy. Look guys, it’s Daddy.” Kurt hands the action figure to Spencer who takes it and tries to stuff the head in his mouth, causing Kurt to take it from him. Kurt hands it to Harper.

“This is Daddy? Why is he a toy?” 

“Remember sweetie, Daddy made a movie with Uncle Artie and Uncle Ryder and Auntie Tina, and he is a superhero like the cartoons you watch with Uncle Sam?” 

“Is Daddy gonna be a cartoon?” 

“Huh, maybe.”

“Can I play with it?” 

“Okay, be safe.” Kurt hands her the toy and she hops off Mercedes’ lap and runs out of the room.

Later, goes into the playroom to find Harper asleep in a pile of toys. The Nightbird action figure is sitting in Barbie’s car wearing a formal dress. Kurt takes a picture and posts it to Instagram with the caption “Nightbird serving Formal Dress realness out on the town with Barbie. #DynamicDuetsMovie #Nightbird #HarperElizabethAndersonHummel” and then picks the four-year-old up and gets her ready for bed. 

The next morning, when Kurt goes into Harper’s room to grab her little backpack, he grabs Nightbird and shoves it in his bag. 

While Kurt is in his office working on some sketches, while Harper and Spencer play on the floor of his office. 

“Dada, Spencer keeps putting the Daddy doll in his mouth,” Harper says, causing Kurt to look up.

“He’s only two sweetheart, can you take it from him and give him a soft block?” 

“Okay Dada,” Harper says before gently taking the action figure from her brother, who calls out in objection but takes the block.

Kurt goes back to his work, looking up every now and then to check on the kids as they play. He eventually puts his pencil down and stretches, and stops when he sees Harper playing near a potted plant.

“Honey, what are you doing over there?” 

“Daddy’s on a safari! He’s looking for animals!” Kurt grabs his phone and takes a picture of the action figure peeking between the leaves of the plants and posts it to his instagram.

And that’s how it goes over the next few days, Kurt snaps pictures of the action figure in the various adventures Harper takes him on, posting them on instagram and twitter, being sure to hashtag the name of the movie, the name of the character and of course whichever kid put him in that predicament. Usually Harper, except for the time they found poor Nightbird scuba diving in the toilet. That was a double posting day, one of poor drowned Nightbird, and the second of his trip through the dishwasher, both tagged hashtagged Spencer Finn Anderson-Hummel.

Kurt knew their fans were enjoying the pictures, that much was evident by the number of comments and retweets, but he ignored them like he usually does for his sanity. Until one night he received two phone calls, one from Kitty and one from Blaine. 

He let Kitty’s call go to voicemail to talk to the husband he’s been missing for weeks.

“So, I see you got the Nightbird toy.” 

“So you um, you saw that?”

“Kurt, your instagram posts are all over E News.”

“Are you upset? I know you felt weird about the whole thing.” 

“I know, and I don’t even know why. It’s so cute. Do the kids, what do they say about it?” 

“Well, I don’t think Spencer knows what it is, he mostly wants it because Harper has it. But Harper? She loves her Daddy doll, she doesn’t think it’s weird at all.”

“Really? It is kind of cool, she’s so creative. She’s having fun with it.” 

“Yep. Wait till she sees the Uncle Sam doll,” Kurt says.

“Well, it’s not really Uncle Sam, it’s Austin Butler as Sam.” 

“She’s four, she won’t know the difference, Sam barely does, as far as he’s concerned, he’s an action figure.” 

“Well it is based on him.”

“ So you’re okay with this? Because I’ll stop, I’ll get Harper something new and shiny to play with and she’ll forget all about her Daddy Doll.” 

“No, no, don’t do that. I kind of love it. I miss you guys so much when I’m gone and this way, I’m kind of with you. And this is awesome press for the movie. Artie’s mad he didn’t think of it himself”

“Oh I bet he is,” Kurt says with a laugh.

Kurt continues to post pictures of Nightbirds adventures with the Anderson-Hummel kids. And when the sequel comes out and Asian Persuasian joins Nightbird and the Blonde Chameleon on their adventures, Kurt creates a snapchat just for their adventures.


End file.
